Tooi Kono Machi De

I’ve been using some of my friends as venting units for far too long. I have this perfect platform for expressing my feelings without looking like an ass right here on my blog. I mean, this is basically what I used it for when I was a teen, so why should I not continue to use it now in adulthood? Albeit, I’m still quite childish, which makes it even more perfect!
It’s been a long time since I used this blog to express my feelings of sadness. Just by reading some of my much earlier posts when I first started a blog, it’s easy to see that this was the perfect release and get everything off of my chest so to say. Recently, my blog has just become a regular activities journal describing the few interesting events in my life, but no more I say! No more! My life is just as troublesome as it was when I was a teen, so I shall once again begin using this slate as a way to clear my head without annoying people with the repetitive crap I fill their heads with.
December has come like a whirlwind. I can’t believe it’s already the end of 2009. The days go by faster every year that passes by. The first snow has already come and gone, but I’m still jobless, loveless, and haven’t made any progress with my body and life from a year ago. If 2008 was the year of amazing experiences, 2009 is the year of reverse progress. I feel like I’ve done nothing to better myself, and every attempt to do so has ended in utter failure. Why are my canyons so deep when the hills are so short?
It’s been quite a while since I posted something on this blog that wasn’t just a recollection of events. If by happenstance, a passerby comes along and reads this, God forbid someone I know personally, please accept my apologies. It is quite late, I should be asleep, but I toss and turn, I count my sheep, and I still have difficulty. I do realize there’s a private setting, but if I do that, I might as well set all my other embarrassing moments on this blog to private, and that’s just something I don’t have time for.
I’ll begin with the troubles of being unemployed. I’ve been graduated for a year and a half now, actively job seeking for a year in New York, as well as random employment opportunities in California and Washington with no luck whatsoever. I’ve had a part time job now that works 1-2 days a week, certainly not enough for much, but enough to eat. I’ve been on a slow downhill slope of eating my savings and going into debt for the past year and a half, and as the end of the year approaches, I am at the point where I am backed into a corner. I don’t have anymore savings, and I am very nearly at the end of my line of credit. My paychecks are no longer enough to help me pay back my debt and survive at the same time, and as such, I am beyond the point of “living paycheck to paycheck.” What can I do now? The only way I can survive at this rate is if I stop contact with my last real friend in NY, but ah, this is the source of another problem!
I’ve recently fallen in love with this friend. Ah yes, once again I’ve fallen into the pit that I’ve been in so many times before. Unrequited love is a painful thing and I just keep making it worse. I know the end result will more than likely end in a bloody massacre, but I continue to make provisions for this girl as if she was the love of my life. Is this my curse? How can I love so deeply? Why is it that I allow my whole heart to be vulnerable and crushed by the simple whims of a woman? I though I learned, I thought I had been hurt enough, but I guess this is something about myself I just can’t change. I have a great appreciation for Park Jin Young’s song, ‘No Love No More’.
As for the progress with my body and life, I’ve started working very hard to transform myself. I know that no one can be perfect, but I can at least strive for perfection, right? I’ve seriously started strength training, and I have gained 12 pounds in a little over 3 weeks, but how I feel and how I look seems like nothing has changed at all. I’m sure I’m just being impatient, but seeing no progress really hurts my motivation. I will continue to work hard though. As for my language learning, I’ve been a forever student of Japanese. I’ve been trying to learn Japanese for probably around 10 years now, and I still can’t have a simple conversation with any Japanese speaker. It really hurts me that I am so poor at a language that I had originally wanted to learn so badly. I’ve tried seriously studying it this year, but I still have made barely any progress at all. As for graduate studies, well, that has completely fallen through. When I look back to this year, the only thing I have gained is a larger debt. I hope next year will turn out better.
I know I’m a sensitive person, but I also try to be a positive person. I know there’s many more people out there in the world that don’t even have it as good as me, but all I can do is sit here typing on my Macbook about how crappy my life has become. Am I wrong to complain about having no job, constantly having unrequited love, and being unable to progress in anything that I want? I try to be positive, but I always end up being wrong and things turn out negatively. Can I try to be negative so I can be right for once? Is being sensitive a bad thing? How can I become less sensitive? How can I stop loving so much? Are these just my traits or is it something that I can also learn from, and fix to become a better person?
It’s been so long since I’ve been really happy, I forgot what it feels like. I want to move on, but the future looks so grim when the past was so happy. I’m not scared though. I know I’m trying my best. If my best isn’t good enough, then there’s nothing I can do about it, right? I hope this coming Winter, my best will be good enough for something.

I’ve been neglecting my blog for far too long. I really need to start writing two to three times a week, as well as get back to web designing. I’ve been slacking off too much and I need to get back to work. Whenever I’m in the shower, whenever I’m about to go to bed, and whenever I wake up, I’ve been thinking about so many things, and I really need to write about them like I used to to get my mind off things. Furthermore, I really need to keep this collection of happenings in my life. When I get older, I want to look back and see a detailed description of what’s been going on in my life. I’ve got a lot of backtracking to do as far as entries go, and that will come. Once I’ve got all that done, I’m certain I’ll feel much better about my life than I do now. Last year was an all time low of posts for me, and this year, I want to change that. Thankfully, no one reads this blog so I can really open up and get what’s really on my mind off and onto this virtual paper. It’s like writing that letter that you never send.
Tonight, there was a party in a very nice club that I wanted to go to. It was hosted by Baruch’s Kappa Phi Lamda and a few other Greek clubs from Baruch. I wanted to go, but my self-esteem is really shot these days. I should’ve fixed my hair much earlier this month, as I was supposed to get a new passport and go to Philippines and Hong Kong, but I don’t know… Like I said, I’ve been slacking off. I wanted to check out that club as it was a #1 Zagat rated club, and they had the 3rd floor VIP section for the party, but I can’t do much about it now.
I’ve been looking around Craigslist for some types of ways to make money. It seems pretty shady, and I’m wary about giving my resume with my informations on there to just anyone. There’s been some prime selections to choose from, but it’s just a bit scary to contact these strangers. I really need to make money for this July. I’m planning to get a Shure SM58S Microphone with a Sound Devices MP-1 preamp as well as a Canon 450D DSLR camera, and all that shit costs a lot of money. And who knew that those plastic things those news reporters have on their microphones cost so much money? I was looking it up, and I found out they’re called Mic Flags. Well, they cost from like $40-60 USD and that’s just insane for a plastic add on to a microphone, but I’ll take one for JPHiP this July.
On Craigslist, they have a lot of people looking for some basic html/css coders, and setting up WordPress blogs. If I wasn’t such a slacker, I could probably do the job, but I’ve lost a lot of skills by neglecting this blog, as well as my domain. I also haven’t been writing enough to justify applying to a blog to become a writer. I’m not that great at finding news, and though I believe my writing can be quite good, I just don’t have enough evidence to support this because I barely write in my blog, not to mention Nandake went down.
To be honest, there’s quite a few things on my mind, and there’s so many things I wanna talk about, but I’m gonna end it here. I think this is just a start to getting back on track with this blog, as well as this domain. I need to give my sites a major facelift and increase my knowledge about CSS. There’s quite a bit of things I need to do. I believe this Spring will be a good restart to get back on track with the things that I loved to do when I was a teen. It’s time to spring back.

When I heard the news on Facebook that Wonder Girls were coming back to New York so soon, I was a bit surprised, not to mention skeptical since it was announced they would be coming back on April 1st. I’m pretty sure it’s well known that April 1st is also known as April Fool’s Day, where people play tricks on each other. I honestly believed that this was a joke. Thankfully, it was shortly announced after that it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke so I decided to head to JFK.
There was a surprisingly small turnout. It seems only the most hardcore NYC Wonder Girls fans turned up. There was only about 10 to 15 of us. I had initially thought I had arrived late, because when I got there, there was almost no one there, but after about five minutes of waiting, some JYP representatives came up to me and asked if I was waiting for the Wonder Girls. I guess my sign made it obvious, haha…
I told them yes, and they actually decided to interview me. They asked me a bunch of questions, and it lasted for about 3-5 minutes. I was quite excited, they even let me give a message to the Wonder Girls which I ended with “SunYe Sarang!” or “SunYe Love” in English. A little bit after, they got the emails of the people who were waiting there and we’re supposed to be included in some VIP mailing list. Sounds interesting!
We ended up waiting for about an hour. I think even the JYP people were surprised by how long the wait was. When the girls finally came out, it was pretty hectic. They waved to us and continued on their way. We all moved over and started talking to them. Some people shook their hands, some people got their stuff signed, and others got their pictures taken. Unfortunately, I could only get SoHee and YeEun’s autographs on my So Hot mini album, but SoHee even wrote it out “To Ellis” so I was very happy. I just have to wait for the next opportunity to ask the rest of the girls to sign it.
It was kinda funny after all the running around and talking to the girls were done. All the asian fans left took a group picture and we exchanged Facebooks and stuff. It was nice. I don’t have many friends in NYC, so maybe something may come from this. All in all, I’m very happy with the night, I hope next time I can get pictures with them and the rest of the autographs.

Yesterday was my 21st birthday. While last year was a goodbye to my teen years, this year is a greeting to my adult life. It’s a bit refreshing knowing that you can buy alcohol legally anywhere that you go. Although I didn’t have a party, and only three people greeted my Happy Birthday, this year’s birthday was one I wasn’t gonna let be a bad day, like so many of my birthdays in the past. This year, I was gonna see the Wonder Girls in concert with JYP.

I started out the day with a lunch at Outback Steakhouse. My mom wanted to have lunch with me since I wouldn’t be available for dinner. I went and had a big meal. Outback Steakhouse is a pretty good place to eat, I’d definitely recommend it. Right after, I headed out to the city to catch the JYP tour at Manhattan Center at 34th street.

The show was pretty similar to the show in LA, at least, when it comes to track lists. The show kicked right off with J-Lim (Lim Jeong Hee, she was featured in one of Bi’s songs) singing her debut single in Korea, Music Is My Life, except this one was the English version that she’s gonna use for her debut in the States. She’s always been a great singer and this time was no exception. I felt sorry for her cause no one in the crowd was really into it. I screamed J-Lim out loud maybe once, and that was the only song she performed.

Wonder Girls finally came out, and I don’t really remember every song they did cause they performed so many, so I’m just gonna take the track list from allkpop and write my opinions on it, since I’m pretty sure it was the same.

The Wonder Girls started with the songs “I Wanna,” “Bad Boy” with an umbrella dance routine,”Goodbye” and “So Hot.”

The girls had multiple wardrobe changes and put on flawless performances. They even greeted everyone in English, which was very good.

The Wonder Girls then sang “Nobody” in a R&B remix (Rainstone Mix) with white chairs, which was very sultry sexy. They wore black leggings and black tops, then the other backup dancers came out and accessorized them on stage for a cute and colorful “E Babo,” “Headache” and “Irony.”

When they came out, they were wearing these futuristic types of outfits. They were hot wearing those tight spandex-like pants and gave a very energetic performance even though the crowd was still warming up. Also, for some reason, there wasn’t as many WG fans in the front like last year. We were assigned seats, so in the beginning, we didn’t know we could stand up, so we didn’t stand up and get up on the stage til the end of their set.

At one point they went to wear sunglasses, but YooBin’s was broken or something so she was the only one not wearing sunglasses.

The umbrella dance routine was pretty short, but it was interesting. They added a blacklight for effect I think, and it was pretty cool. I think one of the umbrellas broke haha, but it wasn’t very noticeable.
When So Hot started, a lot of the fans started screaming. There was a lot of Ahjooma I think for JYP, and I think a lot of the WG fans are only fans of their singles and look, so they weren’t so into it when they did album songs and such, but that’s just my opinion..

When they talked to the audience in English, I was expecting it, but I was still a little surprised. From what I remember, YeEun probably has the best English, followed by YooBin and SoHee. I don’t really remember SunMi’s. All their pronunciation is quite good, but YeEun had the least pauses in her talking while SunYe was more like enunciating every word, lol, but it was still great.

After the talk, like in the LA concert, some dancers came out and gave them all some sweaters and stuff to give a more “cute and colorful” appeal for their songs. Ee Babo was another fan favorite, with many people actually singing some of the lyrics. While Irony actually had people chanting their names after each solo part. It was good to see the crowd getting some energy, but still, compared to last year, this was nothing.

I actually don’t have Nobody (Rainstone Remix) pics cause that was the song I decided to video on, fully expecting the chair dance routine from the LA writeup. It was really good and I might upload it to the tube if someone wants.
After Irony, the girls went off stage for a break and 2PM came on.

2PM also performed a couple of songs including “10 of 10,” which made everyone go crazy!

I took a video of this as well. 2PM was pretty interesting, and they have moved up one level in my book. Originally from, don’t like/don’t care to like/pretty cool. They performed “10 out of 10” and “Only You” and it wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t expecting much, to be honest.

The Wonder Girls came back out in all white dresses and a white grand piano for “Saying I Love You.” They included a special message of how they felt towards their fans with the song. It was very touching to hear how genuinely they love their fans and asked if the fans would keep loving them. Aww so sweet~!

Unfortunately, they didn’t have a grand piano for YeEun in NY, but she played a nice Yahama Motif ES8 (if I recall correctly) and it was totally awesome. The girls looked so pretty and it was so nice to see YeEun playing the song that she wrote and composed herself. When the girls had their little MC part about loving their fans, I really wanted to scream out that I love SunYe again, but thought best to keep it to myself. I wonder if it was the right decision…

Then there was a short video showing the future of the Wonder Girls. They come to America, become a huge sensation, then break up due to professional reasons. All of them go onto more success as Yeeun becomes a cosmetics company mogul, Yubin wins a Grammy, and the funniest one was Sohee, who wins an Oscar for the depiction of a 30-something year old divorcee with Alzheimers!! It would be really interesting to see Sohee act in a movie with such an interesting plot.

The ending showed JYP passing away a few years later, and the girls are re-united after several years of not speaking to one another. A present box containing a clock warps them into the past(?) where they must perform on stage. At Sohee’s urging, the girls reluctantly agree to perform once more together on stage for one night only, which leads into their Dream Girls “One Night Only” performance.

The video was really funny, it was supposed to be a mockup of some type of entertainment news (and it was being narrated by one of the members of 2PM in English). It started with it saying how the Wonder Girls broke up and YeEun and SunYe had big differences and were fighting with each other. They went on to show how they all became successful in their own ways. I think they did the SoHee thing to make it more obvious, just in case someone believed it, that it wasn’t true. SoHee was super cute in the video, and whenever she was trying to get the members to work together and it didn’t work, she would make her super cute pouting face. At one point in the video, SunMi called YooBin stupid (this was all in English), and YooBin was all like, “Who’re you calling stupid!?!?” It was so awesome, haha (AllKpop didn’t mention SunYe and SunMi. SunYe went on to become a hit solo artist, and SunMi went on to become a top fashion designer, iirc.)
When they came back on stage, it was really great. I loved their “One Night Only” performance, and I kinda wish they could release it as a single. Maybe I should’ve recorded this as well haha.. At the end of the song, they unzipped their frilly skirts to show a hotter, tighter mini skirt underneath. It made the crowd really go wooo, haha…

Finally the Wonder Girls ended their half of the concert with “Nobody” in a sexy tango version!

Now at this point, things went a little bit differently. WG didn’t end their half with Nobody, but they did do a sexy tango version. But they also did the regular version I think after it, with the old style microphones and everything. In NY, they ended their part of the concert with Tell Me and around this time people were already up on the stage screaming for WG.
The tango version of Nobody was really good, I think members from 2PM were their dance partners, but I wasn’t really paying attention. They all did a little solo tango type of dance with each of their partners and it was great.
Before they finished off, they played a video of different people around the world dancing to Tell me and Nobody and singing along, I guess from Youtube. Then they surprised the crowd by bringing out a bunch of them on stage. Most of them were from US, but one that really stood out was the guy from Ireland. They danced to Nobody on stage, and WG came out and danced WITH them! I was so jealous at that point, but it got even better when they finished, they were all hugging and shit! Man, I was practically green with envy!

After Tell Me, there was a brief intermission as the live band was setting up for JYP. I’ll just go over briefly with JYP’s part since this is the WG thread.

JYP came on stage and basically owned the crowd. Anyone who has ever doubted his capabilities will have a total new found respect for this man. He is a performance machine. He performed all of his hit songs like “Honey” and “She was Pretty” without missing a single beat. By the end of his set, he had torn his shirt off! He also had some heartfelt words for the audience about how the ten minutes before he sleeps is the only time he gets for himself every day and that this concert was a year in making, from adding up all those little moments. JYP told the fans that they are the only way he can continue to sing and perform in the coming years. And everyone in the audience promised to keep coming back.

You can really tell JYP is a seasoned veteran. When he comes on, he just has so much stage presence, and his performance flows together so well. Some highlights include his female dancers ripping their clothes off revealing underwear that would glow under the blacklight. He sat down for a “dinner” with his fans. He also took a fan “home,” brought her to his bed, tied her up, and sang to her, eventually ripping off his shirt. I also loved seeing the house dance in person, haha…
The duet with SunYe was totally awesome, and I took so many pics of SunYe when she came out!

Then the Wonder Girls came back on stage for an encore performance of “Tell Me” with JYP, which looked very cute and fun and a great way to end the night.

In NYC, I think it was a bit different. JYP sang his closing song then WG came out to sing along with him. When they came out, I was totally jumping up and down, and they even told us to jump, but I was the only one jumping. I even reached out to YooBin and YeEun and got to touch them!
I think YeEun came to the crowd about 5 times, while YooBin came once. I don’t think anyone else went to the crowd except JYP. They finished with Tell me and it was pretty awesome. It looked like YeEun couldn’t figure how to turn on her mic at first, but it ended great.

All in all, probably one of the best nights of my life, I really had fun, even though I was a bit sick, and I can’t wait ‘til next year! It was a great birthday, and the first good one in a very long time. A great night for me to remember forever.

August 30, 2007
So after missing my flight to Hong Kong, I finally contacted Chris, took the next plane over, and ended up getting here at about 3:00pm. Luckily, Stanley was waiting for me at the airport to pick me up. It was really great. He took me to Tsim Sha Tsui where I would stay for one night at a hostel. I took the single room for $120. It was not too bad. It’s just that there was no aircon in the single room. At least I had peace of mind knowing my things would be safer than if I left them in the six-person dormitory. Stanley and I went to eat and some Taiwanese fried rice place before he went out with his girlfriend. After eating, I met up with Chris at Central station. I gave her the things she asked me for and we walked around Central and the IFC building. We ended up taking a bus to the Peak of Hong Kong and took a bunch of pictures. It was really great, and Chris even bought me one of the professional pictures we got. After we took the tram back to Central, we walked around for a while looking for Chris’ bus. She never found it, so she just took the MTR back to Chai Wan while I headed back to Tsim Sha Tsui. I hit the pillow and I was knocked out. I didn’t even have a chance to charge my stuff.

August 31, 2007
Today was my first full day in Hong Kong. This morning, I went to Shau Kei Wan to meet up with Apple and give her the I <3 NY tees. We had breakfast and after, I went to Central to exchange the watch I bought because something didn’t work. Unfortunately, everyone was busy so I headed off to Stanley by myself. I went to Pacific Coffee, took a nap, walked around the plaza and market, took pictures, and went back to Central. I met up with Chris and she came with me to Tsim Sha Tsui to get my luggage. After we separated, I went back to Central to meet up with Tina and Angel. Tina ended up doing a lot of overtime, so I was stuck waiting in Central for about half an hour before Angel found me. Angel and I went to some restaurant in Central to wait for Tina. After Tina arrived and we ate dinner, we went to Lan Kwai Fong to have a drink. After we finished our drinks, we separated and I went to North Point to stay for the last two nights in Hong Kong.

September 1, 2007
I went to Hong Kong Disneyland today. It was sooo hot. Unfortunately, I had no one to go with so I went by myself. It’s really small compared to Disneyland in California, and of course Walt Disney World, but I really like it. I think every Disney has their own feeling. The one in California is like a story book. The one in Florida is like a magical land. This one in HK feels like home. There weren’t many attractions, so I tried to spend the day watching the parades and going to the few attractions that were new or different than the ones in the states. It was really fun, and I had a good time. One of the different things was a waterworks type parade where they go around spraying water at everyone for good summer fun. It was really hot that day, so I was really looking forward to it, but it turned out that the water they were spraying was warm! It was really disappointing, but the parade was still really nice. I met up with Joyce later that day and we went to a few attractions. Unfortunately, I didn’t go to the Lion King attraction because I didn’t know it was different til Joyce told me at the end of the day. The fireworks were also pretty interesting. All in all, it was a very beautiful and enjoyable experience. There was a beautiful mountain backdrop, and the special Disney MTR line was really cool too. Tomorrow, I have to go, so this ends my very short trip to HK.